It may be difficult, but I found a romantic life partner at age 72. My mother many years ago used to say you don't find a man by finding a man; you find one by doing what is right for you and letting a man find you. So giving up just may be the key. And if it isn't--if giving up is what you really do want--then giving up will be a reward on its own. Whichever way it goes, I wish you the best.

After reading your entire story, I decided to append this: You are one very, very good writer. And I wish you the best, whatever you decide to do, however things turn out.