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Rack of Spring Lamb With Burnt Cipollini Soubise, A Pair of Infamous Lips, And a Hat
Yes, a hat
“Fuj! I’m going to have dinner with a woman who has taught literature at the … where? College Lucy Bear Gee in France. Is that how you say it?”
What do I know about literature? Well, I did read Dr. Seuss on TV. “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.” That’s one of my favorite books ’cause I’ve gone to many places. Big places. Oh, and I read Party Animals, too, out loud, at Easter, on TV. So, I’m well-read. Anyway, you can just ask my famous husband. I’m often in my private bedroom reading — that’s what he tells everybody.
My dinner companion has also taught French and Latin at the university level, so they tell me. Now, that’s concerning. “Bonjour, bonjour,” uh. Everybody will know it’s a myth I speak French. Maybe they’ll start thinking I don’t speak German or Italian, either. Well, I really don’t care. Do you?
But Latin? When I was younger, my photographer was always trying to get me to lick my lips just like making out with a Latin Lover. That’s what they told me when I did that shoot that got so famous. They said, “lick those lips” when they meant lick her labia. Lately, though, I’m rich, so I don’t do that anymore. Now, I just make sure my lips are slightly apart when the shutter clicks. When I’m doing a facial…
