When I was only a half-century in age, I felt much the same as what you're ow feeling. But what I discovered, down in the depths, was that I was not going to give up looking for a relationship--that I would be even more unhappy if I gave up. It took me four more interludes with men who made me the brunt of their mental difficulties and one with a man who stole most of my life savings and assaulted me, but I succeeded. I discovered, finally, that there was nothing at all wrong with me all those years that some happiness couldn't, and hasn't, fixed. There's no jacket here, but there's no puddle, either.