Wow! I'm glad you're able to write about this experience. In my experience, writing does help. (I had a similar experience giving birth, particularly the back pain and being forced to be on my back with my legs in stirrups, the one position that has to be the most difficult one in which to give birth (well, I guess except for standing on your head.) But my experience was in 1963. I don't know whether things are better now. I hope so.